Friday, February 13, 2009

Post Partum???

The past two weeks I have been crying all of the time.  This is no exaggeration, I cry every day and usually a few times a day.  I don't typically break down and sob but I have to fight back tears and anything can trigger it.  I mean am I having post partum NINE months later, or is there something emotionally wrong with me, I am definitely chemically off balanced or something. 
But this little man, reminds me every moment of every day of God's grace and His goodness, that He is never failing, completely merciful, and full of love.
I love this face, and I can not get enough of this little man!

SO I know that my little man is over nine months old, and therefore that means that I have had 9 months to get my body and my emotions back to normal....BUT seriously!!
My body is no where and I mean NO where back to normal, I still have weight to loose and when I look in a mirror it is not what I used to see.  And I  know that my body will probably never look the same, cause let's face it I did gain 60 pounds in a short period of time.... but PLEASE I wish I could just discipline myself a little more and just knock off those final pounds, very plural pounds!
  So I am MOST DEFINITELY stepping out on a limb here but this is me a few days before I gave birth to Gabriel, in all of my glory! And the funny thing is I actually miss it now.  I did not love being pregnant I was sick most of the time, but I am ready to do it again, I know I am crazy.


danielle said...

ok, so i am super concerned about post partum, considering how emotional just this pregnancy has made me. i heard that post partum can take place at any point during the first year.. (i am sure you already knew that)! BUT, in a week and a half i will be with you on the weight loss journey... we will be neighbors... we can help hold eachother accountable! :) which fyi.. your pregnant belly looks way cuter than mine does... ugh!

Jess said...

Oh girl, I SO know how you feel! I thought for sure the weight would just melt off and it has NOT. I just can't get the baby weight off. I haven't worn my jeans in over a year and it's KILLING me! I just started running with a friend and it has really helped for motivation and accountability. We are actually training for some races (and before two weeks ago, I wasn't a runner at all!)!! As for your emotions, I don't *think* it's technically "post-partum", but I'm not a doctor so I'm not for sure. I was like that for about 2 or 3 months after Lourdyn was born. It could be lots of things... Have you talked to your doctor about it? We should chat it up sometime. :) I will pray that you feel better soon.

Shan said...

excuse me?? Did you talk to my on wednesday when I had my nervous break down. Girl, it's normal.. we're both just weird.

Anonymous said...

Let me just say how WACKY hormones are! We girls are just soooo lucky (rolling my eyes) to have them! It's true, postpartum can occur at any point within a year after pregnancy. It's normal, and everyone recovers from it. I definitely had it, although mine was pretty severe considering how traumatic/crazy Jude's arrival was, but I'm happy to say that I am back to normal. Don't be afraid to talk to your doctor if you think you need some medicine -- our bodies are chemical, and taking a pill every day has helped me big time.

Anyway, there's my 2 cents on that. :) Hang in there! And as for your body, just think about all the changes it's made over the past year or so! Our bodies are so incredible! I do understand the frustration with the weight loss, though. It can be hard to carve out time for ourselves these days with little ones. (((hugs)))

michelle said...

aw, pash. are they always sad tears? or a mixture? (who knows, maybe you're already pregnant again!?!?!?!) ha!

love you dear --- and all your glory! :) i think you are BEAUTIFUL!

miss you dear. many blessings and happy valentines day!

Meredith - proud mama of two said...

My doctor told me once that postpartum symptoms can come and go up to TWO YEARS after giving birth. I know that doesnt sound very optimistic, considering that means you still have 15 more months of this glorious emtional time, but it will get better. You could be like me and have your kids less than two years apart and blame every bit of your moodiness on the baby :-). Poor Ben.

Kelsey and Evan said...

you are beautiful! I love pregnan bellies! :)

abby coyle photo said...

Gabe looks older already..he has so much hair!! adorable!!! And Pascha, you are one of the most naturally beautiful people I know. You seriously have nothing to worry about!

Emma Krueger said...

Sweet friend I love you so much! I am sure it is completely normall. Post partum probably happens throughout life, when they go to school for the first time, graduate, get married. Its part of the motherhood! If you need to talk to cry call me! I will cry with your or laugh with you! Love you.